My voices are getting worse. Not as in volume or intensity, per se, but on content. I constantly feel as though my afterlife is at stake if I fail to step outside for a smoke, pour the sugar before I pour the coffee, or sit for long periods of time. Some of this may sound OCD-like, but it’s not. I do not feel a compulsion to act a certain way, nor do I do anything different than what I normally do. Problem is, when I follow their lead, they are not happy either and I end up looking like a fool doing all sorts of stupid shit like walking up to a door and walking away or talking to myself. I wish I could describe their content, but without the context of my experience, it all seems very benign.
Although outward appearances indicate all is well, if not better than it has been in a few years in my life, I admitted myself to the hospital yesterday.
Examine calm and subsequent delirium following the morning of May 20th.